The
first time I came to Britain I was 15. I came on a three week student
exchange to Ramsgate in 1981. What I took back with me was the memory
of rows of identical Victorian terraced houses with differently
coloured doors, Royal Wedding paraphernalia, a visit to London,
cheese-and-onion crisps and, oh, cream teas!
The
next time I came was following my A levels. I came for a year to work
for a charity with learning disabled adults. I was quickly struck by
the diversity in Britain which seemed to be in such a contrast to my
native Germany back then. Growing up in fairly rural Germany the only
non-Germans I had ever encountered were Turkish “Gastarbeiter”
(guest workers), and even then they had been people I rarely actually
came in contact with. They seemed to live in different places, move
in different circles and go to different schools.
By
comparison the Britain I encountered was vibrant and diverse, with
people from different nationalities and ethnic backgrounds living and
working and studying together, with cultures blending and merging
along the way.
In
short, I fell in love with the country. Incidentally, I also fell in
love with an Englishman. Eventually we were to get married, have two
children and make our life in England – but first I returned to
Germany to train as an occupational therapist.
I
came back to Britain newly qualified in 1990, this time to stay. I
applied for three jobs and had three job offers. I started working in
the NHS which I have done in a variety of settings and specialities
ever since.
I
eagerly embraced the British way of life. I never particularly held
on to my German background, upheld German traditions at home or
sought contact with fellow expats from Germany. For a long time I
tried to lose my accent until I finally accepted that I probably
never would and that it was OK to speak English with a foreign
accent. I taught my children my mother tongue, but only fairly
half-heartedly. Although they now have a basic understanding of
German and have visited Germany fairly regularly over the years to
stay in touch with family there, they both see themselves as British
more than German.
I
love Britain! I love the country with its varied countrysides and
cities. I love the people, the English language and the British sense
of humour. I have mastered the English language and no longer need to
look for volunteers to explain countless puns and innuendos to me. I
have a fair grasp on the humour thing although I may never fully get
sarcasm…
In
all those 26 years I never bothered applying for British citizenship.
Firstly I wasn’t required to and secondly I never felt it
necessary. As far as I was concerned I was already
British. A Brit with a
German passport!
Recently
things seem to be shifting. In the run-up to and during the EU
Referendum campaign we started to hear from a very different Britain.
Ask
any German of my generation and they will probably confirm that we
had it drummed into us
to be vigilant against any individuals, groups or systems which try
to single out minorities and outsiders to blame and scapegoat for
wider problems in society, and which seek to divide society into “us”
and “them”.
And
here we are in Britain in 2016 where the Brexit campaign has openly
blamed migrants for anything from the housing crisis to unemployment
and pressures on the NHS. Where groups and individuals have been
emboldened to spread xenophobia and racism. Where hate crimes are on
the rise. Where even in government it has become acceptable to
consider forcing companies to disclose their foreign staff, and where
advice from experts on EU law is not welcome if those experts don’t
hold a British passport.
Increasingly
I find myself questioning whether this is still the Britain I so
admired and fell in love with.
If
Britain leaves the EU I no longer have automatic right to remain in
this country. So together with 3.5 million EU citizens in he UK I am
now weighing up my options:
I
could do nothing and hope that common sense will prevail and I will
be able to remain in this country – which seems risky and careless.
Or
I could apply for British citizenship under Naturalisation, a process
which is expensive, time-consuming and complicated – and which may
mean I end up losing my German (and therefore European) citizenship.
Or
I can explore my options of returning back to Germany – which,
given that I have not lived in Germany for 26 years and never worked
or paid taxes there, seems an unlikely solution.
It
may just be that applying for British citizenship is my safest bet to
ensure my future in this country. But I fear that even if I apply for
and obtain citizenship, I will never feel British again in the same
way I did when I was a Brit with a German passport.
