My fathers

It's that time of year when we especially remember our loved ones who have already died and left this earthly life before us.

I especially remember my two fathers - the one who gave me life and the one who raised me.

My stepfather died earlier this year after several years of poor health. I must be honest - we did not always get on and I was not always the easiest step-daughter. In fact I spent many years hating him!
Only when I moved away, grew up and matured and had my own children, did my feelings towards him mellow. In the end I grew to love him and appreciate that he was the father who raised me to be the woman I am today.
I am glad for the many years we have shared - the good times and the not so good ones.

My biological father died in a sudden car accident when I was 3 years old. I have no memory of him and that pains me.
I have stories, which my mother told, and I have photographs. I look at those and study his features carefully. I see a resemblance with my brother and even myself - but the face I look at is really a stranger.
I wish dearly that I had a real memory of him, anything at all! The best memory I have of my father is me. The genes he passed to me. I hope that he will live in me and my children and children's children.

So I remember both fathers with love and gratitude.

Without the children

This week my husband and I did something we have not done in a very long time, in 18 years to be precise. We went away over-night, just the two of us!  Now, our children are not little anymore - 15 and 18. And yet it seemed a big step to leave them alone at home for a couple of days

We had decided to try what we used to do before we had children: a long bike ride, followed by a night's camping in our little two-person-tent. Now, we are not twenty any more ... but that's no reason not to try!
So we packed our gear, checked our bikes, instructed our children, asked the neighbours to keep an eye, and off we went!

Strangely, I also wondered what it would be like, spending so much time alone with my husband. Would we be bored with each other? Or would we spend the time arguing?
We did neither!
It was wonderful to spend time together, cycling quietly, struggling and supporting each other up those unexpected hills, setting up camp together and sleeping (slightly uncomfortably) in that tiny tent.

All too soon our time was over and we headed back home.
All was well at home. (I think the children quite enjoyed their parent-free time too!)
Will we do it again? You bet!!

Home with parents

After 22 months on various hospital wards and nursing homes, my stepfather has come home to be cared for by my mum.
I have gone to stay with them for the first week to help them settle in.

It is a joy to see how they enjoy each other company and savour the time they have together.

I am profoundly aware of the blessings thex have given me during my childhood and growing up years. More often than not have I taken their love, care and support for granted.
I am glad that it is not too late to say Thank You and to show my appreciation.