"Why do you believe [in God]?"

"Why do you believe?" - That was the question I was asked early on Sunday morning and I have been mulling it over for the last 8 hours.

Why do I believe in God?
I suppose the simplest answer is because I have believed in God for as long as I can remember and I cannot imagine not believing in God.
Those who know me, know that I am not adversed to questioning and scrutinising religious teaching, scripture and authority. I do it all the time. It's my questions, my doubts and my criticisms which shape my faith.
But never, not in my darkest moments or times of doubt have I not believed in God.God simply is part of my life.

In my mind seeking God is deeply ingrained into the human psyche, whether we are religious or not, or believe in God or not. Perhaps we call that seeking by different names.
I know that I can only speak from my own perception and experience, so forgive me if I do, but I sometimes wonder how atheists can deny that God-shaped hole in their lives. The only way I can imagine it being denied is, well, by denial.
(I am sure many of my atheist friends will disagree. And that's okay. I'll probably hear about it.) :)

To any who at this stage feel inclined to say "So you believe in God. That's fine ... but which of the thousands of G/gods out there??" I would reply that I don't think it matters all that much. Religions are simply human attempts to put the concept of God into human words.
Different religions seem to emphasize different attributes of G/god(s) and at the same time share many similarities.
But outside of all those human concepts G/god(s) does exist or not. Regardless of what we believe about him/her/them (or not).

Why then am I a Christian?
I am sure much is to do with culture and familiarity. If I was born in Afghanistan I'd be more likely a Muslim, if in India a Hindu. It just so happens that I was born in Europe into a Roman Catholic family.

I think my criticism of Christian doctrine may put me on the periphery of Christianity. I quite like the words of Richard Rohr who calls it "being on the edge of the inside". That sounds like a good place to me!
Occasionally people have said to me that I am deist, not a Christian.
I disagree.
Despite being on the edge of the inside, I feel quite firmly part of the Christian faith. Perhaps it's the person of Jesus that keeps me there. Jesus, who said "If you have seen me, you have seen the Father" and "I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you" leaves me believing that his teachings, words and example are worth reading, mulling over and putting into practice.

By that I don't mean blindly following what others tell me. Quite the contrary. It requires me to dig deep and search for myself what it means to "be like Jesus" in this world here and now, wherever I go and whoever I meet.
I know how Jesus' teachings fitted into first century Palestine because the gospel writers left their records.
And I know from Paul's letters how he felt it should be applied as he travelled to other countries and engaged with other cultures.

One of the beauties of the Christin faith is that we believe that we are all flawed and prone to make mistakes. And that gives me the right, or even the responsibility, to scrutinise what others think and say about my faith. And to discern for myself whether they are right or wrong.
The gospel writers and Paul are not here to live according to Jesus' teachings in secular Britain in the 21st century. But I am!

So yes, I do believe that one day I will meet God and that I will account for the things I said (and didn't say) and that things I did (and didn't do), as well as my thoughts and attitudes towards others.
And it won't do any good to say "I did these things because my pastor or vicar or imam or guru or teacher or parent or husband etc told me so".
It will be down to me, and me alone.

Will I always be a Christian? It may be arrogant to claim that I will, although I cannot imagine ever not to be.
But wherever my faith journey takes me, I don't think I can ever be an atheist and not believe that God is here.

There you have it, @hellboy2112. I don't know if it answered your question, but it has passed a rainy Sunday.
Much love. :)

LGBT and church - facing new truths

At times in my life I gain a new insight or understanding, which impacts greatly on me and my life ... only, when I look back I realise that it is not new at all and I have known that particular thing for some time - but at arms length, from a distance, without really knowing it in my heart.

This year at Greenbelt my heart was truly opened to the treatment LGBT people receive in some churches and from some Christians.

This was my third Greenbelt festival and each time I blogged about it, I have mentioned LGBT people - Made in God's image and Life begins .So the issue has been tugging at my consciousness and conscience for a while ...

I have friends who are gay Christians, friends who have wanted to enter into church ministry and are not able to do so because of the relationships they are in. I have known this! Why have I not felt it until now?

This year at Greenbelt, not only did I attend the OuterSpace Eucharist (which has become a firm part of my festival experience), I also attended a number of panel discussions about the concept of marriage and whether LGBT people are a gift to the church, rather than a problem. Most importantly I listened to stories - stories by people who are forced by the church to choose between their calling to ministry and their calling to a loving relationship with another human being; stories by clergy who were severely sanctioned by the church for marrying the partner they love; stories by people who receive more love and compassion working in a supermarket chain than in the church they would love to serve ...
Most touching and amazing is the fact that again and again I heard people say "I do not want to leave the church", "Despite it's flaws and faults I love my church" and "I would not want to harm the church". People who say "I don't agree with outing gay bishops. We should not enter into that power game."

That blows me away!!

I have come away from Greenbelt to weigh this new understanding and knowledge, to pray about it, to read more and discuss more.
I have joined the Inclusive Church and asked for an information pack from the Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement.
I am looking forward to the journey of learning more, understanding better and working out what is best to be done about it. I don't as yet know ... but I know there is work to be done!

What puzzles me most is that as Christians we believe we are made by God to be the best we can be. Unlike our atheist friends we don't think we are a chance combination of genes that give us certain attributes and abilities - we believe that God has made us in a deliberate and knowing and wonderful way!
We also believe that we are instructed to use those talents. To use them to build a better world - God's Kingdom on earth.
And we are meant to encourage, enable, empower, support and motivate others to do the same.
Don't we??

And then here is the church, the very institution which should encourage and empower us to use our gifts and talents, and it says to some of us "No, not  you ... God doesn't want your talents!"
Really??

Can I encourage you to find out about this topic?
To read, hear and listen?
To join groups, petitions and actions?

And most of all, keep those who are discriminated against because of their sexual orientation and those who are in the authority to make (and change) those decisions in your hearts and prayers.
And let them know that you do.

Here's to a church which loves and welcomes all unconditionally - regardless of race, gender, economic standing, (dis)ability and sexual orientation.
It's what God does.

Humanism, being a Christian and the parable of the Eaton Mess

When @Naradee12 first asked me to write a piece for her secularscarlet.wordpress.com blog I thought “I can do that”.
… Then I checked out the blog and found myself thinking “I’m not sure I can do that”. There seemed to be a strong anti-religious sentiment and terminology such as “eradication of religion” simply makes me feel a bit uneasy.

I am a Christian. I grew up in a Roman Catholic family but left the church when I moved away from home at the age of 18. For many years I had little to do with religion – although I was drawn into a church service once in a blue moon, for a while dabbled in Paganism (there is still much I like and respect about it) and at some stage developed an interest in Hinduism.

Then, quite unexpectedly, in my mid-30s I returned to the Christian faith and have been an actively and openly practising Christian ever since. My faith acts as a daily reminder to be more caring, more forgiving and more loving, to be less selfish and self-absorbed and to strive for greater things than personal gain, power and reward.
Of course I am not saying that you have to be a Christian to do these things – but simply that for me the framework of the Christian faith acts as a daily and constant encouragement.

Quite often atheists have said to me: “I respect you, but not your beliefs” to. I think that’s meant to be a compliment, but I find it quite difficult to get my head around that statement.
For me the two are firmly connected. My beliefs shape who I am. Where I see myself in relation to God and other people is who I am. To those atheists I would respond by saying “If you respect me you also respect my beliefs, because my beliefs are what makes me!”

I would also say “judge me by what you know about me, not by what you assume to know about me based on your assumptions”.
I am talking about my personal beliefs. Find out about those, rather than judge me by what the Pope said in 1997 or what some Televangelist preached last week or what you were taught in Bible school when you were 7 or by some obscure Bible verse which really gets your goat.
Or simply judge me by my words and deeds … because they mirror my beliefs.

I believe in God
I also believe in humanity.
I believe in equality and in Human Rights.
And I believe in our ability to live together in peace and harmony … and I am passionately convinced that the only way we can create societies like that is to listen to, learn from and respect each other!
I guess that makes me a humanist.

Jesus summed up all religious teachings into two laws: “Love God and love your neighbour as yourself”.
He modelled this by concerning himself with the most needy, excluded and vulnerable members of the society of his time; those you were considered unclean, sinful or undesirable – menstruating women (yes, I know!), adulteresses, tax collectors, lepers, non-Jews, the mentally ill and the physically disabled, to name a few.
He considered religious rules to be there to benefit people, and criticised them sternly when they were used to burden or control people. Religious teachings are there to benefit people, not the other way round.
Jesus was a humanist too!

My hope is that we all be HUMANISTS before we are theists/deists/atheists and that rather than try to eradicate each other we fight for and work towards the humanist values which will build more loving and caring communities.

The other evening we had Eaton Mess for dessert.
For those of you who don’t know what Eaton Mess is, it consists of broken up meringue, whipped cream and fruit (typically strawberries or raspberries) mixed together. Imagine a mashed up Pavlova!
Now, I’m not too keen on cream and my husband doesn’t really like meringues … but we both agreed that in an Eaton Mess all the ingredients really complement each other.
Take the cream out of the Eaton Mess and you no longer have Eaton Mess. And cream on its own is just, well, cream.

I wonder whether there is a lesson for building society.
Perhaps to create diverse, tolerant and understanding communities, we need to get in together, mix with each other and get messy!

Find me on Twitter under @solsikke66

Come and see!

Today in church we read the following passage from John's gospel: 

The next day John again was standing with two of his disciples, and as he watched Jesus walk by, he exclaimed, ‘Look, here is the Lamb of God!’ The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Jesus. When Jesus turned and saw them following, he said to them, ‘What are you looking for?’ They said to him, ‘Rabbi’ (which translated means Teacher), ‘where are you staying?’ He said to them, ‘Come and see.’ They came and saw where he was staying, and they remained with him that day. It was about four o’clock in the afternoon. One of the two who heard John speak and followed him was Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother. He first found his brother Simon and said to him, ‘We have found the Messiah’ (which is translated Anointed). He brought Simon to Jesus, who looked at him and said, ‘You are Simon son of John. You are to be called Cephas’ (which is translated Peter). - John 1:35-42 

I am struck by the words of Jesus: "What are you looking for?" and "Come and see".

What am I looking for in my faith? And have I been looking right?
I often feel that I want to be and do so many things in church and live my faith in that way ... but what about looking much closer to home and seeing the small things in my daily life - my own family, my work? What about living my faith there in everyday situations, rather than looking elsewhere beyond?

Today I took my camera and went for a walk. 
These are the things I found when I looked closer and took in the detail.

"Come and see!"

 

Greenbelt 2013 - Life begins ...

Last weekend I attended my second Greenbelt festival. Never mind Christmas and Easter - Greenbelt is rapidly becoming my spiritual highlight of the year!
For me it is a very serious attempt at building God's Kingdom on this earth. A place of love and respect and tolerance. A place of exploring our faith together and learning from each other, rather than falling into the 'I-am-right-so-you-must-be-wrong' trap!

I met old friends and made new ones, and enjoyed some wonderful conversations.

Highlights this year were listening to John Bell from the Iona community (now there is a place I will have to visit one day!) and hearing Jim Wallis, a Christian writer and political activist from the US and the founder and editor of Sojourners magazine, speak on social justice and the pursuit of the common good; participating in a session on Scriptural Reasoning  which was a beautiful example of how people from different faiths can explore and learn from each others scriptures together without telling each other what to believe or where the other is wrong (!); attended a very interesting workshop by Abdul-Rehman Malik entitled "Is there a bomb in your bag?", exploring what happens when we perceive to have an enemy in our midst; and many, many more.

As last year the OuterSpace communion service was one of my very favourite events. Here is what I wrote a year ago.
'Welcoming' simply doesn't describe it. OuterSpace manages to put on a service which is one of the most gentle, caring and embracing I have ever attended! I have pondered how and why that is.
My conclusion is that OuterSpace simply knows how to treat people as precious and delicate beings. And we all are precious in God's eyes!

This image of the cardboard box has been with me for a few days now and speaks quite powerfully to me. You know those big, heavy cardboard boxes, that look so tough and rugged on the outside? And yet, we don't know what fragile cargo it carries on the inside. 'Fragile' and 'Handle with care' are stickers we put on the outside to remind ourselves that we cannot tell from the outside what is on the inside.

Shouldn't we handle people with care all the time too?
Just because somebody looks big and strong or is gruff and prickly or appears confident and able, doesn't mean that they are not fragile and vulnerable on the inside.

Let's treat each other like precious beings. That's what OuterSpace has taught me!

Who is my neighbour?

‘Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?’ 

He said to him, ‘ “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: “You shall love your neighbour as yourself.” On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.’                   (Matthew 22:36-40) 

This leaves the question "Who exactly is my neighbour?"

I found this great sermon by Canon Stephen Hance at Southwark Cathedral, exploring this question further.
And telling this wonderful story from Tony Campolo, who is an American preacher and sociologist:

Tony was travelling, jetlagged, and awake in the middle of the night, so he went down to a local diner in the early hours where, it turned out, many of the local prostitutes also went to hang out after their night was over. He overheard a conversation between two of them. One, named Agnes, told her friend, “You know, tomorrow’s my birthday. I’ll be 39.” Her friend snapped back, “So? What do you want? A birthday party?” Agnes replied, “Don’t be mean, of course not. I’ve never had a birthday party before. Why should I expect one now? I’m just saying it’s my birthday tomorrow.”

After they left, Tony had an idea. He asked the diner owner if Agnes came in every night, and when he said that she did, Tony said, “Why don’t we throw Agnes a surprise birthday party tomorrow night?” And that’s exactly what they did. Next morning, 3.30am, Agnes walked in. The diner had been decorated, there was a cake and candles, and all the other prostitutes sang happy birthday. When Agnes saw it she almost bucked. Agnes blew out the candles through streams of tears, and then someone suggested she cut the cake. Agnes didn’t want to do that. She’d never had a birthday cake before. She ended up taking the cake home. After she left, clutching the precious cake, Tony ended up leading everyone left in the diner in a prayer for Agnes.

When the prayer was finished, the diner owner leaned over to Tony and said, “You never told me you were a preacher! What kind of church do you belong to?” Tony says, “In one of those rare moments when just the right words came, I answered ‘I belong to a church that throws birthday parties for whores at 3.30 in the morning.’” The owner sneered and said, “No you don’t. There’s no church like that. If there was, I’d join it.”

Wouldn’t we all? But that’s the church Jesus came to found. A church that makes all people our neighbours by the simple method of treating them as such, welcoming them, including them, and celebrating with them. May God give us the grace to be such a church.

The Spirit of Pentecost

Apart from the obvious festivals in the Christian calendar (namely Christmas and Easter), Pentecost must be my favourite event - the celebration of God's Spirit descending on his followers and the reminder that God is with us all the time, no matter who we are or where we are.

Acts 2 tells of the event:

The Coming of the Holy Spirit
When the day of Pentecost had come, they were all together in one place. And suddenly from heaven there came a sound like the rush of a violent wind, and it filled the entire house where they were sitting. Divided tongues, as of fire, appeared among them, and a tongue rested on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other languages, as the Spirit gave them ability.

Now there were devout Jews from every nation under heaven living in Jerusalem. And at this sound the crowd gathered and was bewildered, because each one heard them speaking in the native language of each. Amazed and astonished, they asked, ‘Are not all these who are speaking Galileans? And how is it that we hear, each of us, in our own native language? Parthians, Medes, Elamites, and residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya belonging to Cyrene, and visitors from Rome, both Jews and proselytes, Cretans and Arabs—in our own languages we hear them speaking about God’s deeds of power.’ All were amazed and perplexed, saying to one another, ‘What does this mean?’ But others sneered and said, ‘They are filled with new wine.’ 

Peter Addresses the Crowd
But Peter, standing with the eleven, raised his voice and addressed them: ‘Men of Judea and all who live in Jerusalem, let this be known to you, and listen to what I say. Indeed, these are not drunk, as you suppose, for it is only nine o’clock in the morning. No, this is what was spoken through the prophet Joel:
“In the last days it will be, God declares,
that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh,
and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,
and your young men shall see visions,
and your old men shall dream dreams.
Even upon my slaves, both men and women,
in those days I will pour out my Spirit;
and they shall prophesy.
And I will show portents in the heaven above
and signs on the earth below,
blood, and fire, and smoky mist.
The sun shall be turned to darkness
and the moon to blood,
before the coming of the Lord’s great and glorious day.
Then everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

I find this very powerful.
God is not far removed. He is not distant. He is right here amongst us!
We just need to turn to him and he will speak to us and through us.

I found this short video, in which different people talk about how they experience Pentecost and God's Spirit.

Holy Week

Holy Week is upon us. Tomorrow is Good Friday, the day when Christians remember the cruel death of Jesus.

I have been very busy this week with making Easter crafts for sale. Today was my deadline. Enough. It is finished!
Time to meditate on the final days of Jesus and to let it sink in.

I am looking forward to the Walk of Witness in our town tomorrow, and the Midnight Vigil on Saturday night.

May you experience something of God this Easter weekend. May you find him in the emerging spring flowers, the freezing snow, the joy of chocolate or the suffering of Jesus. You never know where God may show himself!

Love of God

Today is Mothering Sunday - the day when traditionally domestic servants were given a day off to visit their mother church, usually with their own mothers and other family members. It was a day to return to one's own family and church and spend time with them.

As it happens, today is another significant anniversary for me - 10 years ago on this day I became a committed Christian.

I had a Roman Catholic upbringing, so Christianity was not new to me.
As a teenager I had drifted away from the Christian faith. Not completely. I don't think I ever stopped believing in God. I went to church occasionally - either because it was a special festival or because I felt the need.

As I grew older and life threw more and more responsibilities on me, I became aware of searching for something greater than myself out there; something to draw strength and hope and courage from.
I did not really consider the Christian faith, because as far as I was aware I had 'been there' and 'tried that' ...

So I looked into other religions and dabbled a bit here and there.

Then one late evening, after a rotten day and when I felt very critical of myself and very unlovable, I sat at the table in my kitchen and out of the blue felt a voice speak to me. The voice said simply "I love you".
In my state of self-loathing I did not accept that.
Strangely I felt sure to know who the voice belonged to, because I addressed him in my reply: "Don't tell me you love me, Jesus, I don't believe you!"

I have often wondered about my reply.
Of course Jesus had played a part in my Catholic upbringing. I was taught that he was the Son of God who had died on the cross for our sins ... but somehow I did not remember him to have been described to me as the intercessor to call upon in our need (perhaps this is more common in Protestant denominations?).
I feel even now that if this had been my own mind creating somebody to give me comfort and solace, it would have been an angel or a saint, or even my deceased father or grandfather ... but not Jesus.

Back then, it took me a while before I truly believed that God loves me.
But eventually I drew the following conclusions from my experience:

1. Jesus is real
2. He lives here and now. (Which means he was not just a human being 2000 years ago, but he is divine and eternal)
3. God loves me and knows me and is interested in me - so much so that he will meet me in my own kitchen and tell me so

This has put me fairly and squarely back in the Christian faith. After 10 years I still look back at this event and know that it really changed my life!

Jesus loves me. And you too!

Watch the little things ... and be thankful

Today's 40 acts challenge is prompting  me to be thankful.

Easier said than done, when somehow the things that don't go well seem to be so much more noticeable and the things that do go well are taken for granted.

I am reminded to become much more aware of situations, people and blessings around me, to take note and to give thanks.

To say thanks to people but also to God. I am reminded that my Muslim friends thank God much more readily by using the expression  "Alhamdulillah" (Praise/thanks be to God) on a daily basis.
May I become a praiser of God!

Who is saved?

I am speaking salvation in religious terms here.

In many conversations with my Muslim and Christians friends the topic of salvation is an important one. Understandable really, when one believes that the whole purpose of our earthly being is about 'getting it right' and doing/believing the right things to get you into paradise.

I know Christians who believe that anybody who has not publically declared that Jesus is their Lord and personal Saviour is not saved and will not go to heaven.
Equally I know Muslims who believe that anybody who has not said Shahadah "Lā ʾilāha ʾillā l-Lāh, Muḥammadun rasūlu l-Lāh (translation: There is no god but God, Muhammad is the messenger of God) has not accepted Islam and will not be granted entry into Jannah (paradise).

I have been around for long enough, have observed people often enough and have had enough conversations to be convinced that there are people from all religions and none who are closer to God than many of those who are convinced to follow the 'true religion' (whichever that may be) would like to think. And that we are foolish if we think we know you is and who isn't saved, simply by what declaration they have made.

Ultimately we do not know. We are not meant to judge. We are meant to live our lives to the best of our abilities and be the best we can be - and leave others to do the same.

I came across this picture and quote, which just about sums it up. I love the image of Jesus sneakily pulling people over the wall. :)

Happy birthday, Alice Walker

Alice Walker is is an American author, poet, and activist, perhaps best known for her 1982 novel, The Color Purple which was released as a movie in 1985.

I love the quote, so I am posting it here. I certainly agree that we should rejoice in the world we live in, appreciate it and take care of it. And the field of purple crocuses is spectacular.

Happy birthday, Alice!

Just as I am

Last Sunday was the first time I went to church since I have given up my church commitments.

I went to the 8 am Communion service, because it is a small congregation I and knew I would not have to give too many explanations.

It was strangely humbling to come just as I am, without any role or commitment. Not as churchwarden or as reader or as member of the worship band. Instead coming to worship God, stripped down to simply who I am.

My church visit taught me two things:

1. Firstly, it reminded me that God sees me as I am all the time - no matter how many roles I give myself or how much importance other may give me ... He sees my heart and there is no hiding from him.
2. Secondly, I realised that my church family love me as I am - even when I do nothing to contribute to the running of the church and/or services.

I feel truly humbled.

Perhaps this journey will teach me more than I ever imagined. After all, God moves in mysterious ways ...

There's a wideness in God's mercy

I am often surprised (and shocked) by the judgmental attitudes I come across in those who claim to believe in God. Only in the last week or so have I come across a number of explanations, which attributed the hurricane Sandy to God's punishment on mankind ... for (in no particular order) 1) proposed changes in US law on same sex marriage, 2) the anti-Islam film, which was recently made public and 3) not caring for our environment ...
So take your pick which one you think is most likely - but bear in mind that there might be many, many more of these theories out there ...

What strikes me about these theories is the zeal with which people are assured that God is on 'their side' and fighting for 'their causes'.

So it soothed my heart to sing this hymn in church this morning. "There's a wideness in God's mercy" is a hymn, which was written by Frederick Faber in 1854.

I loved these two verses especially:

For the love of God is broader
Than the measure of our mind;
And the heart of the Eternal
Is most wonderfully kind. 

But we make His love too narrow
By false limits of our own;
And we magnify His strictness
With a zeal He will not own.

Here it is sung by the Choir of St Paul's Cathedral, London:

Desmond Tutu - God is not a Christian

Desmond Tutu -  retired Archbishop of Cape Town, Nobel Peace Prize winner, human rights campaiger, founder of the Desmond Tutu Peace Foundation and one of my favourite people ever!

Here is an article  in the Huffington Post by Desmond Tutu, which is just too wonderful not to share!

“Peace, prosperity and justice - we can have them all if we work together. There is no 'us' or 'them'. God is not a Christian but neither is S(he) an adherent of any other religion because no religion has monopoly on God. All major religions have love and compassion at their core, they promote tolerance not violence and hate, and most have their own version of the Golden Rule - treat others as you wish to be treated. They all recognise that human happiness ultimately comes from our relationship with each other.

In truth there are no outsiders, no enemies - unless we put them there in our minds. Black and white, rich and poor, man and woman, gay and straight, Jew and Arab, Muslim and Christian, Hindu and Buddhist, Hutu and Tutsi, Pakistani and Indian, - all belong. When we start to live as brothers and sisters and to recognise our interdependence, we become fully human.

Our diversity is beautiful - it would be so terribly boring if we were all the same! Conformity is stoked by fear of not being loved, and an expression of a need to belong. Let's love each other - warts and all. Let's dare to be beautiful in our own truth - and still belong. Unselfish self-assurance, compassion, an inner knowing that our humanity is caught up in one another's, that we are inexorably diminished when others are humiliated, oppressed or treated as if they were of less worth than us - these are some of the inner qualities that will save us as a human race.”

The tomb is empty

On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen!"

(Luke 24:1-6)

Today I am trying to imagine how the women coming to the tomb (the gospels mention Mary Magdalen and Mary, mother of James, amongst others) would have felt on this morning.
There would have been no joy or anything to look forward to.
I imagine they were driven by a sense of duty to embalm Jesus' body - the only thing left, which they can do for him now.

Then the shock they must have felt when the tomb was empty. Who has taken the body? Now they cannot even perform this rite, which they have come prepared for.

I wonder how long it took for them to comprehend the words the angels told them. He is not here; he has risen!

I can't help but think how often I go about my daily tasks, many of them mundane, without expecting anything amazing, without remembering that God is there with me, without being ready for any surprises he might spring on me. Letting myself be limited by the chores and tasks ahead, without expecting the unexpected ...

He is risen indeed!
May I remember this more often in the future.

Feeling burdened

At the moment everything seems to be happening at once - the daily issues of having two teenagers in the house, pressure at work, a busy time in the house and the garden, an increasing amount of responsibility in church with our old vicar leaving, and a husband who would like me to spend more time with him.

To cut a long story short, I feel burdened. Too much to do and not enough hours in the day!

After some time of feeling sorry for myself and then reflecting a little about it all, I can't help but feel that this is somehow a blessing. When I feel that I cannot do all these things in my own strength, then probably because that is exactly true. I cannot!

But I can do it with God's help and guidance and with his strength:

Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light,” (Matthew 11:28-30, NLT).

Right now I may not feel like I can handle things, but deep down I know that I will be okay - because I am not alone!

Let go and let God

I haven't blogged for a while.

Partly, because I spent some time with my mother to support her whilst my stepdad continues to be very ill in intensive care.

The time I spent with my mum made me realise the importance of letting go of things which are outside our control, and to trust that those things - however painful - have a purpose and will work out for the good of those concerned.

Most of us have a natural desire to make a difference, get things done, help and be in control.

Sometimes, however, the best thing to do is to stop fighting and struggling and fretting - and instead just let go.

I found this poem, which really spoke to me:

To "Let Go," does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To "Let Go," is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.
To "Let Go," is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To "Let Go," is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands - but in God's.
To "Let Go" is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To "Let Go," is not to care for,
but to care about.
To "Let Go," is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To "Let Go," is not to judge,
but to allow another to be the human being they choose to be.
To "Let Go," is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To "Let Go," is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality - regardless of how painful it might be.
To "Let Go," is not to deny,
but to accept.
To "Let Go," is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but instead - to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To "Let Go," is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To "Let Go," is not to regret the past,
but grow and live for the future.
To "Let Go," is to fear less and live more.
Let Go and Let God!

(anonymous)

Pray as you go

A friend shared this lovely resource with me.

It is set up by the Jesuits in Britain.

There is a prayer, Bible reading, some spiritual music and the opportunity to meditate on and prepare for the new day every day of the week. It can be accessed via the website or downloaded onto the mp3 player.

I have found it a great way to prepare myself for the day, and to keep focused on God and his Word. 

God

"God is the place that always heals over, however often we tear it."

(Don Paterson, from ‘The Stream’, 2006)