Losing my religion because of politics

Britain is a very divided country these days. The EU Referendum has split the nation, and despite assurances by certain politicians that "the country is uniting behind Brexit", in practice that seems not at all the case.

Now we are in the final weeks before our snap general election and - in contrast to previous elections where the main parties really seemed much of a muchness - there are marked differences between the parties, and their plans and manifestos.

Today, as I sat quietly with the Quakers, pondering life, it came to me: It is not my religion that defines me, but other, deeper values, attitudes and beliefs. Other people who share my religious beliefs hold very different political views and have very different attitudes towards social justice, international affairs and the environment.
Give me the humble atheist/agnostic with compassion for the vulnerable in society over the cruel vicar's daughter any day!

My religion is the desire for a caring and compassionate society, which happily and proactively cares for the needy and vulnerable; a society which encourages individuals not to just think about themselves, but to build a secure world for future generations; a society which seeks cooperation and constructive relationships with outsiders and foreigners.
And yes, I find many of those elements in Christian teaching - but probably only by ignoring those elements which contradict my personal values.
I also recognise that people of other faiths and none find those elements in their teachings and worldviews too ... and possibly only by equally ignoring certain elements which contradict their values. How else can the cruel vicar's daughter and other people with totally opposing political views to mine still profess to the same religious faith as me? And how can other followers of other religions also have found very different political positions?

Over the last year or so on Twitter I have come to realise that I am much more tolerant of other religious beliefs than of differing political views. Believe what you like, as long as your actions are in line with what I believe to be right and good.
My point is, I seem to have more in common and feel more closely connected with people who have similar political stances than some people who share my religious beliefs.

I can only conclude that rather than my religion shaping me, my deeper values shape my religion, how I understand it and how I apply it.
Do I still call myself a Christian? - I think I do.
Where do I go from here? - I don't know. Perhaps I need to sit in silence a bit more to fathom it out.

I guess one question which remains is what came first: My religion or my politics? - Any thoughts?

Brexit and EU citizens

6 months ago, in the EU Referendum, 27% of the British population voted to leave the EU (that's a clear democratic mandate, don't you know?!). Following the events I blogged this.
How have things changed now?

The answer is, they haven't.
The nation is still divided. People are still angry. The government and Prime Minister still have not come up with any, I mean ANY, Brexit plan.

And for us EU citizens, who are already settled in Britain?
We have not been given any guarantees for our future here. On the contrary, we now have to jump through hoops to prove that we have the legal right to permanent residence, which includes meeting criteria which nobody ever knew existed. I read daily stories from people with British spouses and British children, who suddenly (sometimes after decades of living here) find that they don't have the right to permanent residence. Not that it matters, really, because the right to permanent residence (even if we have it) can be taken away from us anyway.

If I have learned anything, it's that it doesn't matter who you are, what you do, or how well you fit into society - the government can do with you what they like! It breaks my heart.

As for myself, I applied for my permanent residence card in October and I am still waiting. Having worked continually for the same employer for 25 years, I am quietly hopeful, but we shall see...
In the meantime (for an estimated 4-6 months) I am without my passport and unable to visit my family in Germany.

My new year's plan was to lay off Twitter in order to try and gain some equilibrium and peace. I have done that, and it helps not to be shouting my anger into the void every minute of the day.
But my anger is still there. It has not lessened.
Every day I hear from the media and the politicians that I am an outsider, a minority, and part of the problem - a problem they have yet to decide how to deal with.

The truth is, I have never seen myself as a minority. I always thought of myself as simply a member of British society. So I am learning to understand the sense of insecurity, anxiety and defensiveness that comes with being a minority. I am learning that well-meant platitudes by friends are not reassuring, but patronising. I am learning that - after months of having been told so - I am starting to feel that I don't belong and that I am not part of the British people at all.
It hurts and it worries me for my future here with my husband and grown-up children, but Britain no longer feels like home.

I am holding on to my daily routines as much as possible. I value friends, family and colleagues. I focus on the practical. I focus on my interests and hobbies - singing, running, knitting and reading.
But increasingly the thought creeps into my head what it would be like to move back to Germany. And if Germany could become home again, now Britain no longer is...

For any knitting Europhiles out there, here is the link to my FREE EU beanie pattern.

How I became a Brit with a German passport, and why I no longer am

The first time I came to Britain I was 15. I came on a three week student exchange to Ramsgate in 1981. What I took back with me was the memory of rows of identical Victorian terraced houses with differently coloured doors, Royal Wedding paraphernalia, a visit to London, cheese-and-onion crisps and, oh, cream teas!

The next time I came was following my A levels. I came for a year to work for a charity with learning disabled adults. I was quickly struck by the diversity in Britain which seemed to be in such a contrast to my native Germany back then. Growing up in fairly rural Germany the only non-Germans I had ever encountered were Turkish “Gastarbeiter” (guest workers), and even then they had been people I rarely actually came in contact with. They seemed to live in different places, move in different circles and go to different schools.

By comparison the Britain I encountered was vibrant and diverse, with people from different nationalities and ethnic backgrounds living and working and studying together, with cultures blending and merging along the way.

In short, I fell in love with the country. Incidentally, I also fell in love with an Englishman. Eventually we were to get married, have two children and make our life in England – but first I returned to Germany to train as an occupational therapist.

I came back to Britain newly qualified in 1990, this time to stay. I applied for three jobs and had three job offers. I started working in the NHS which I have done in a variety of settings and specialities ever since.

I eagerly embraced the British way of life. I never particularly held on to my German background, upheld German traditions at home or sought contact with fellow expats from Germany. For a long time I tried to lose my accent until I finally accepted that I probably never would and that it was OK to speak English with a foreign accent. I taught my children my mother tongue, but only fairly half-heartedly. Although they now have a basic understanding of German and have visited Germany fairly regularly over the years to stay in touch with family there, they both see themselves as British more than German.

I love Britain! I love the country with its varied countrysides and cities. I love the people, the English language and the British sense of humour. I have mastered the English language and no longer need to look for volunteers to explain countless puns and innuendos to me. I have a fair grasp on the humour thing although I may never fully get sarcasm…

In all those 26 years I never bothered applying for British citizenship. Firstly I wasn’t required to and secondly I never felt it necessary. As far as I was concerned I was already British. A Brit with a German passport!

Recently things seem to be shifting. In the run-up to and during the EU Referendum campaign we started to hear from a very different Britain.

Ask any German of my generation and they will probably confirm that we had it drummed into us to be vigilant against any individuals, groups or systems which try to single out minorities and outsiders to blame and scapegoat for wider problems in society, and which seek to divide society into “us” and “them”.

And here we are in Britain in 2016 where the Brexit campaign has openly blamed migrants for anything from the housing crisis to unemployment and pressures on the NHS. Where groups and individuals have been emboldened to spread xenophobia and racism. Where hate crimes are on the rise. Where even in government it has become acceptable to consider forcing companies to disclose their foreign staff, and where advice from experts on EU law is not welcome if those experts don’t hold a British passport.

Increasingly I find myself questioning whether this is still the Britain I so admired and fell in love with.

If Britain leaves the EU I no longer have automatic right to remain in this country. So together with 3.5 million EU citizens in he UK I am now weighing up my options:

I could do nothing and hope that common sense will prevail and I will be able to remain in this country – which seems risky and careless.

Or I could apply for British citizenship under Naturalisation, a process which is expensive, time-consuming and complicated – and which may mean I end up losing my German (and therefore European) citizenship.

Or I can explore my options of returning back to Germany – which, given that I have not lived in Germany for 26 years and never worked or paid taxes there, seems an unlikely solution.

It may just be that applying for British citizenship is my safest bet to ensure my future in this country. But I fear that even if I apply for and obtain citizenship, I will never feel British again in the same way I did when I was a Brit with a German passport.